Debts

Tera Mera Rishta has always been a very symbolic song in my life. I chose to hear it today to remind myself of inescapable truths

I walk down the road to His abode and surrender myself. My sins, my blunders, my pain, my achievements. I confess to my detachment from Him and hence my consequential abandon. I listen to myself. Hear the calling from deep within. What's my life but a quest to give. A means to provide. What others seek but don't often find.

What have I lost myself in. All the murky depths of my self. Running after my own aims, my desires, my needs. Oblivious to the truth that my life is only a passing of the soul which is neither mine nor this world's. I have become but a weight on my own salvation. My cravings a distraction from promises my soul made to its Maker. 

My misgivings a result of my own deeds. Hell and heaven I know now do not exist beyond life. Heaven and hell are right here, in the steps we take and the choices we make. I have made my own heaven and hell. I kneel for forgiveness which I know I do not deserve. I chose to run when I should have stayed. I opted for easy when in obstacles lay my liberation. I broke the accord I long back struck with life. I will not ask for painlessness and in return it will not claim my servitude. I am now life's servant for I chose to seek absence of troubles.

I will now repay the debt that claims my conscience.  I put down my desires, my aspirations. I give up all my selfish wishes. I will return to the path I had embraced. To live for others. Even if that involves complete relinquishment of my dreams and my hopes.