Have you ever allowed yourself to be convinced by nature?

When I was much younger, like many in that age, I went through a major disappointment following a certain incident. Knowing not what else to do other than lie aimlessly on my bed for hours, I agreed to a prefixed schedule of going to my village. I never used to visit my village since I believed I had all that I needed here in the city I lived in. Nothing attracted me elsewhere. So my decision came as a matter of delight for my parents particularly my father who always encouraged me to stay connected with the place my ancestors had built and lived in for decades. I went the same day. 

The next morning my cousin forced me out of bed at five and dragged me to the fields. But he didn't have to pull me for much long. Once I reached the dense fields something amazing caught hold of my will. It was in the lap of nature that I found something remarkably life saving. Believe me. I was feeling so hopeless that I had begun to show symptoms of rejecting life itself in that early age. But once I walked the fields on my bare feet and and reached its heart, I forgot everything. I saw the mist soaked sun which filled my spirit with unparalleled tenderness and I was pampered by the breeze of 'Baitarani' and the mud under my feet permeated some medicinal magic into my system. I plucked a wild marigold and held it close to my face, vicariously absorbing all its wisdom. I randomly gathered leaves and rubbed them turning my palm green and earthen. The birds had a strangely high state of courage for they alighted so near to me that I felt like I had always been a part of that greenery, their undiluted habitat. I was touched by their instant approval of me. I felt belonged. The haunting sense of abandonment went away amidst the thousands of leaves and hundreds of butterflies and birds and tiny innocent insects which nibbled at the soft dirt for food.

Something revived in me. Something which never seemed to have even existed before. A throbbing sense of faith and contentment. Even when I closed my eyes I could see brightness all around. Maybe I could see that brightness because of what had illuminated within me by that experience. Everything felt in place. Including me. Everything made sense. The moment felt nothing short of divine.

Nature has this thing. It can caress you and while so doing it can cleverly plant a sense of resilience. It can prepare us to face the most difficult times like nothing can. Isn't it sort of a dependable scheme that the troubles of life be taken care of by nature itself. Its lasting effects can delight us with what every man is entitled to enjoy by virtue of his existence in this world. We often tend to forget that. Maybe because we have given ourselves up to our concrete confinements. We have perhaps forgotten where we really come from in our madness to reach places reaching where may not necessarily matter.

I woke up early today after months and saw that softer sun and those birds and insects and walked bare feet on my garden. I resigned myself from anything contrary. And I found myself after a long long time. I saw myself. Like no mirror can show. I breathed life itself.

A moment like this can turn things around in ways we cannot imagine. Take my word for that.

Song Of Dusk

The mellow mood returns
Brings along many lore
The winged ones teeming
Velvet heavens fling their door

A planter breaks the lull
An ode he joyously cries
His swinging face & palm
Painted in earthen dyes

The mangrove in the backyard
Lively with chirps galore
When the world refolds tired
All their words come to fore

My neighbor paddles homeward
He hides sundry candies
He schemes to daze his son
So that a crushing hug he can earn

The distant mill lets off
The last siren; For the day is up
And the haggard milieu 
Is dotted with walking figures  

The local playground is deserted
One by one all its heroes fade
Into the darkness it goes
Embracing glimpses close

The conch rythms and hymns 
A homage to Maker of things
Echo from under roofs one and all
Sprinkled with prayers big & small 

Away from the roads and human sound
In the meandering clay, home bound
A gaggle of wavy figures 
All waists stacked with pitchers 

The retreating sun drives
Asunder the stronghold of clouds
Smearing its best about
As it leaves for a fresh bout

My grand old father strolls out
The health of nature makes him stout
He comforts himself on mahogany husk
And hums his cherished songs of dusk

It's the peacemaker
It's the twilight
It's that thread that binds
A passing day and a charging night

The Lake

Where have the gulls flown
There flapping's now unknown
Where have the dolphins sailed
To stranger waves they have fled


Why don't I see the ducks 
Where've swum their flocks
Where have the pisces gone
The boats and the oars forlorn


Why the sun sets without 
The dusk songs of the mahout
Why can't I see the water reflect
The joy it once exuded


Why the melody eludes
Does it sense the shrewds
What robbed the lady of her charm
When she was promised no harm


When I walk the shores
I travel to the befores
When a delight it'd offer
Of the various bliss in its coffer 


Forsaken it stands
Once a pride of our lands
Then it strikes my mind
Like an ant bite in my hind


We came to cherish
We planned to flourish
Latent garners were to be made
In the name of nature's serenade


We went from slow to ceaseless
We spared nothing in the place
The very reason why we came
We murdered in the name of the game


I spent my days in its splash
Became a victim to the rash
After ages I awake
To the loss of that lake

The View from My Window

(For no apparent reason I am reminded of a dear friend's by gone misery. It was an accident which caused him to remain bed ridden for about a a week. I paid him a visit every day till he was up on his feet again. He would convey to me his deepest urges during my visits. I write this poem trying to narrate how he must have felt and what thoughts must have crowded his head during those seven days of confinement to his bed. )




The View From My Window


I see a sun rise beyond the far leaves
To watch it come down I have to turn around
The ceiling fadin' and dripping like a ragged hound
To stand a barrier its forever bound


Then I see a sparrow alight near me
Hopping on the window free
Yet its far away
Reminds me of how helpless I lay


Then comes the breeze along
Its a traveller with a song
Never rests for a moment
But lives forever in its earthen scent


Followed by the deluge of the neighbourhood brats,
As they race crashing in to the nearby park
The west is now beginning to glow red
Trying to catch the view I raise my head


But neither I succeed nor fail,
I see only heads on their playful trail,
Bobbing and vanishing in the near,
Its impossible to even look that far


Then comes the rain
The view is enough for my pain
But I long to catch the drops
And watch 'em find their spots


I remember not always to mark
When the red becomes dark,
All I hear now is the owl's call,
And the loud mouthed Johnny tryin' to describe "A Fall"


The moon is different,
Its not always there
But when it comes in its moods
Its a beauty beneath every layer


My supper is laid
And I am summoned
By urges so primal
Gratification is minimal


I am sucked into a land where
I am not confined to a lair
I run and run
Every desire I burn


Everything I had missed
I held and kissed
I don't want to be in 'Tomorrow'
And feel nothing else than sorrow


I know not how my mind held
But I feel the sun's rays warm my head
I wake up into a life so slow
Where I have only the view from my window


                                                                           -Anupam

A SPARROW SONG

(This is the story of the family of four sparrows that lived outside my room's window, when i was a kid. I saw them everyday. They were a part of my life. I had seen them in joy and sadness alike.  One day I found that one of them fell down and died. I was a little shocked thinking why it didn't try to fly when it fell. But it took me years to understand that there was something else, something man made that killed it. It was supported by the fact that the rest had flown away too. It was unbearable for me to see their deserted nest. But no one else seemed to notice.)

Just couldn't get that thought out of my head, hence here's a song I wrote for the Sparrow:-

Before I could go to sleep again, it chirped and chirped,
Now I sat wide awake on my bed so disturbed;
Threw the pillow, pushed the quilt with a frown
Rushed to the window and looked up and down


When I looked to my left
I saw a cozy nest
Was I fuming seconds ago ?
My face was now a beaming logo


There it stood , it jumped & hopped,
All around the place 
It was so difficult to catch its face
Then came another and a twig it dropped;


I watched them talk
I watched them dance
To the tunes of their folk
Oblivious I was there, they moved in trance


They blinked so fast
They chirped so quick
So sure so pristine 
They went on adding


And then they flew
Far from it
Knowing they'll return
To my chores I moved on


In days ahead there came two more
This time they were too small
To even climb out of the wall
Their mother guarded them from a fall


In the best of days and worse too
I'll come to them
I ll exchange my joy and 
Speak to them of my pain


I grew up and so did the Sparrows
Till one day I found one on the narrows
Fearing it'll fall 
I sped through the hall


But fall it did
And chirped its last
It was gone too soon
Where it could breathe at last


The rest too had vanished
There lay but the nest so famished - 
For joys and warmth
That the Sparrows gave it


Years have gone
Many moons and suns too
I hold on to the memory 
And I feel so sorry


I know not what happened
But the birds' elation was easily sacrificed 
Was it so great a burden
On a choice so mundane
                                                                                                  Anupam P.

Friends,

Did you know that "World Sparrows Day" was observed on March 20th. To watch a sparrow's chirpy and quick movement is a source of tremendous joy. I just read an article which says that sparrows are rapidly declining in number due to loss of their habitat owing to swift urnbanization. In China they even consider the bird as a pest. Unbelievable !!





                                                                                                       Anupam