Saturday, 15 February 2014


She's gone. She had to.

"Please Don't try to get in touch" were her last words, spoken in impending sobs. The worst part was that she was alone when it happened. Her friends, her parents far away. Trusting the hands of her soulmate, she gave herself away. Only to have her innocent faith trampled.

As the phone went dead and no answer came upon repeated dialling, the night was spent in helplessness of not being able to know what she underwent. Only darkness was outside. A calm in which hidden were shrieks audible to his ears alone. He didn't sleep, he couldn't. He deserved it.

No one could live in such relentless despair. The thin trust which held the bond finally broke. For how long could she take all the suffering, the anguish. She gave it her everything, even more than anything. She tried and tried and tried, to make him believe in goodness. She eventually surrendered to the truth that she was dealing with an incorrigible man. She had to go. For her peace. For her life, for her future.

He believes in his own failings. He couldn't have let his doom shadow her radiance. She is hope, he is decline. She is tomorrow, he is yesterday. She is the first ray of morning waiting to brighten lives, he is the dusk doomed to bring night. She had to go.

In that brief hurdled alley of love, he was gifted with unforgettable affection and she was slammed with insensitivities galore. So she had to go.

That prosperous road calls you
That joyous garden waits for you
Go on now with wings of faith
Walk on now with promise

All the fame be yours
All joys and true love
Wait for you and beckon
Skip us like a illusion

You're new morning
Let go of the dying night

Dont turn back
Dont fill with regret
This was nothing
You are meant for better

Why someone must wait for death ? How great has to be the anguish and how immeasurable must be the hopelessness to open arms to everlasting end.  How far must the simple joys of life be from reach to make eternal departure a simple escape. How certain one has to be that he's no reason left to live, to want a closure to his life.

He knew. The impossibility of ever having her back broke him. The futility of his future lay clear before his sight. Birth is not the only reason why we choose to live. When love is sure never to touch you or worse when you are sure that you simply don't have what it takes to recognize love or embrace it, it's better to vanish. There remains no point to life. He kept telling himself. 

To die looking into the eyes of the one you love is the destiny of a chosen few. He'd read that somewhere. Being a man terrified of loneliness having spent most of his life alone, he had quickly assured himself of that climax to his life. Now when he was about to close his book, he stared at the glittering ripples of the river under his feet, almost inviting his fatigued soul and recalled his resolve.

But she had gone away. Taking with her everything, even the possibility of that last glimpse.

He closed his eyes and spread his arms. He took a deep breathe of the air for the last time and sent a silent message

Please sing again
Those words
Which you hummed
In the softness of morning

How do I live
When gone is the reason 
For my breathing

In my passing
I give you all my 
Fortune and wishes through
For love - everlasting and true 

The splash was not heard as the Coromandal Express rumbled its way through the endless tunnel above. The thoroughfare on the bridge continued to move ahead, as did life, oblivious to termination of one pointless journey comforted by the calm depths of the Mahanadi.


  1. Haunting. Poignant. The last few lines, in particular, were evocative.

    Also loved the line 'she is tomorrow, he is yesterday.' Six words, but they speak volumes.

    Beautiful work, Anupam!

  2. This one cut through my heart! It was hauntingly beautiful. It was sad and very subtle. "How far must the simple joys of life be from reach to make eternal departure a simple escape."- brilliant lines!

    1. The events cut through the man. Thanks for all your kind words, Prateek.

  3. Very much heart touching.........