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Tuesday, 30 October 2012

Adieu...

My dearest, most loving, inspiring and unconditionally supportive readers / fellow bloggers. 



As you contemplate your next blog post, or better still, write one, I embark upon a path of bereavement from all you kind friends. I say bereavement because my blog is the only means to our attachment. I wish I could have enjoyed your loving company beyond my blog. And I write this blog letter to you humbly pleading my inability to write.

But this isn't about hitting a block as much as it is about feeling detached and demotivated. Those words, those voices and those many variegated sentiments that command me to lift my pen or punch the keys of my notebook, have deserted me. I stand derelict, abandoned. I remember a dear friend  asking me once as to what compels me to write. I had swiftly replied 'For peace'. To allay his resultant perplexity I'd explained to him that I do not find solace until I have obediently conveyed the joys, the pathos, the relevant tragedies, and conflicts of souls and challenge to human spirit of the characters who swirl inside my mind. That's my motivation and presently I stand robbed of that motivation. 

That's part of the story. The other half incurably completes my difficulty. This is because when I do  intermittently hear those ideas, themes, stories churning inside my head. They just don't seem to be able to negotiate well enough with my expressive side. As the writer is trapped between this alienation of affection, a story, an article, a poem dies before being born. 

This tires me. And I don't believe in conjuring up a will to express and coercing myself to adhere to some sort of discipline of verbalization of that which I do not feel. After all this is not a business I'm running, where I have to play by the murky and manipulative norms in order to stay afloat. Art, if my writings are any close to it, cannot be dictated. It has to be born out of my love of things,my romance with life, and my sensing of the pain in tragedy of strangers, and most importantly, my expressions comforting that sensitivity by being their faithful guide to articulation. The want of such harmony stalls me. It vexes me and I stare annoyingly longer at the wall opposite to me than pursuing my art. 

I'll be away from blogging for some time. I wish I could tell you for how long. I may well write something in the next hour, or may suffer my present predicament for a week, a couple of months or till my last breathe. Since I cannot be sure of our reunion I must say now that all of you will ever remain my cherished friends. There have been a few special ones who have shown the patience of a true companion by telling me about my compositions each and every time without fail. Others, have been equally significant in sharing their thoughts and according to me the status of a writer through their encouraging reviews & constructive censure. But what you've really given me is something that you have no idea about. In a small yet unforgettable way you've made my existence worthwhile. And that's not an exaggeration. If I ever make it back I'll zealously expect it again from all of you.

God Bless You 

Love,

Anupam

66 comments:

  1. Take care ... hope to see you back really soon :-)

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  2. awww...do come back soon, anupam!

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  3. I am sure you'll be back, sooner or later. Once a blogger, always a blogger!

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  4. We all expect you to be back, one day or the other. You have always been a source of inspiration and motivation for budding bloggers. Come back soon!

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  5. I'll miss you Anupam when you're away...and look forward to having you with us again:)

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  6. For me it will be loss, You and Panchali mam kindled my romance for blogging and and rekindled my love for poetry, which I felt died long ago...I looked forward to your nuggets of sheer mastery. I hope they will again become a part of my daily routine soon.

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  7. It's always a good idea to recharge once in a while. Watch lots of Laurel and Hardy.

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  8. Recharge yourself well and be back with a bang! We will wait for it. :)

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  9. This post leaves me disturbed.I hope all is well with you & your loved ones.Recoup & recharge as shovon says & come back to us with double vigor.
    God bless you!

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  10. as I know you from your blog you really are a SPLENDID WRITER and i mean it. writer like you feeling demotivated is not good and not acceptable also..I always look forward to know what is new in your blog!!now we all have to wait!! you can share it because you said we are your friends..right!! are u going to a place where net is not available or what? go for a holiday!!then come back with a refreshing mood.. take care.. :)

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  11. Oh my, this is quite perturbing to hear. I do hope and pray that all is well at your side.
    The blogging community will feel vacant without your presence. I hope that you return soon with renewed vigor and zeal.

    Stay happy and live life to the fullest.

    Looking forward to your future posts :) :) :)

    Regards,

    Jay
    http://road-to-sanitarium.blogspot.in/

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  12. Sometimes a break is often what is needed for rejuvenation. Wish you all the best!

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  13. Au Revoir, Anupam! Will be expecting you back - and hoping it will be in the next 1 hour!

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  14. if you dont feel the urge you should not do any creative work because you run the risk of loosing the urge itself. hope you get back your urge at the earliest

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  15. Will miss you...u were one of the only fellow-bloggers who read my every post :)

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  16. Take care you are a good sensitive human being with a great command over the medium of writing.. your precision , your lucidity and above all the fluidity of your thoughts .. will certainly be missed .. take a break but remember dont give up blogging it keeps the soul of another man alive .. you heal him with your words as his pain is greater than yours , you keep him afloat, i am not good with grammar syntax so I use pictures and they become words sometimes miraculously ..

    Wish you the very best ..keep in touch Anupam

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  17. I need not tell you again how much I admire you as a writer and as a human being. You will be missed badly...and I sincerely hope you come back to the blogosphere quickly, with renewed vigour :)

    The characters of your stories are going to stay with me for a long time to come and I will be one of the happiest when you come back with more unforgettable ones in your second innings.
    Good luck and take care :)

    And yeah, though we would all like you to come back real fast, you should guiltlessly take as much time as you think you need before you're ready for another shot at blogging. Remember that a huge legion of your dedicated readers is there to welcome you back, whenever you choose to be back.

    Do keep in touch :)

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  18. Ok . One day is gone. Now come back. :)

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  19. i know you will come back soon. becz its happen with people. bezc is not now your nature to stop thinking. when you cann't stop thinking then how can u stop writing....

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  20. Recharge, Revise and Revert back :)

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  21. Good bless Anupam! Take care.

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  22. I went off my writing phase for almost 5 years and even now it is taking me effort to get back to it..there was no specific reason for me leaving apart from the fact that I had found someone to tell everything I felt. The need to write didn't come me then. Hope this phase away is because you have found something a lot better to do! take care! will miss your writing!

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  23. God Bless.. take care.. and all the best for your future endeavors.. :)

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  24. Good luck Anupam. I wish you find what you are striving for and come back with a sense of fulfillment!!

    Gob bless!

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  25. Find ways to rejuvenate and be back with a bang buddy :)

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  26. Hoping and praying that your's is only a very short sabbatical and your comeback will treat us with more mindblowing posts and rejuvenate us in body and soul ...

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  27. Hoping and praying that your's is only a very short sabbatical and your comeback will treat us with more mindblowing posts and rejuvenate us in body and soul ...

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  28. Do comeback soon Anupam ji ---you were one of those who visited my blogs when I was new to indiblogger
    Thanks a lot for that

    warm regards
    and all good wishes
    rajni

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  29. Will really miss a budding writer....
    pl come back, your readers wait...

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  30. Hi Anupam, this is the first time I am visiting your blog and the very first post that I read is of you leaving...my first 2 thoughts:
    1. I am glad that u are not forcing yourself to write, as sometimes when I do not write for a week I keep challenging myself to think about something, anything to blog, but the result is a mesh of my feelings plus coercion so I do not publish those posts.
    2. Come back soon.
    Mehroo
    http://www.frommissindiatomotherhood.blogspot.hk/

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  31. Hey there Anupam.. get back soon. I know you will. Sooner rather than later you'll find yourself at your comp. Till then - Au revoir.

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  32. Best wishes. Shall wait eagerly for you to bounce back!

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  33. Recharge your batteries. At times one needs a break to come back with renewed vigour.

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  34. Will miss you. But I'm sure you can't give up your creativity.

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  35. Take a break and be back soon with lots of new ideas

    Regards
    Village Girl

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  36. Anupam,
    I relate to your feelings - and yes, I know it, the writer in you cannot be contained. Who had ever tried to dictate you to write? You wrote because you wanted to. Go on a break - that's fine... but you would find your soul wishing to write. We await your comeback, and hope that is holiday is short.

    All the best!

    www.anucreations.blogspot.in

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  37. Will miss you!!...I wish you'll come back soon!...Take care..

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  38. Always.... the more you force yourself the more slippery a thought becomes...in time I am sure you will find the right thought......until then....you will be missed!

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  39. Sad to note!
    But need of the hour,
    Pressures!
    Get back soon,
    c u then.
    Take Care
    Best Regards
    Philip

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  40. This is strange, but your write up made me sad. I hope and pray you get over with whatever that is holding you back and come back to writing.

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  41. so very sorry to read this! Hope you come back soon!

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  42. Will miss your writing...be back soon...!
    Tc

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  43. Hope to see you back soon with more reflections. Take care.

    A very happy and prosperous Deepavali to you all!

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  44. Hope it will not last long...
    Be back soon.

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  45. Anupam,

    I have always enjoyed reading your posts and I was also inspired by your expression and outlook. I hope you get back your zeal and motivation back soon.

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  46. Hope you come soon...

    Thanks for supporting my post on indiblogger.....
    Do land in my world some day...

    http://apparitionofmine.blogspot.in/

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  47. I feel sad to read this post. I will miss your posts.
    Take care.

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  49. Good wishes! Hope you be back soon, Anupam

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  50. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  51. You've made me sad.. Anupam, we all go through such phases & I'm sure you've gone through it many times before. But, I don't want to see you writing as if though you'll never come back. Reading your posts have been memorable moments for me. Your pieces are crafted with such deep thought and imagination that I always feel that I haven't complemented enough. I know you may be feeling short of words right now, but take that emotion and pour it out.. let whatever comes into mind flow before you. I want to see how you feel. & in it's own way it'll make you feel better too :) I hope the 58 comments above, now 59, are motivating enough to bring you back :) We all miss you soooo muchhh! ..hope to read from you soon.

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  52. Hi Anupam,
    Your post made me sad...
    I too was not very regular in blog hopping..I have always loved reading your posts.Your feedback on my writings have been highly motivating...Yes ,for sure at times one needs to have a break...But do come back with added zeal and vigor ..shall wait for your come back..
    A very Happy New Year to you and your family...have a wonderful 2013.. :)
    Cheers

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