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Saturday 18 June 2016

The Little Spaces in Void




Forgive my lack of exactness but it seems like a couple of years ago that the chord which tied me to this cherished space snapped.


Two years is a long time. Many things can happen in the period. It was during this time that I lost my doting grandfather to everlasting sleep, turned a few pages in travelling, met some amazing persons in the journey yet back home friends walked out of my life.  I dreamt for things that are nearly impossible to accomplish. I made more and more mistakes than ever. It's hard to say whether that made me a better or worse person. Incidents which would forever etch their marks on my soul came to occur and pass. In the hardest possible way I was taught by providence that there is something unalterable about the shape which has been cast for the course of our lives no matter how hard we try or how cleverly we may attempt to recast it or elude it. And finally I saw time’s malleability through experiences that sped and slowed it. 

Whatever happened took forever a part of me while leaving, one I won’t ever get back. I reckon it was because of those circumstances that I found it hard to gather the requisite will to write something worthy of anyone's time. 


While the design of destiny was unfolding per its prefixed scheme a part of me missed being here, missed all of you. Your presence, cynical or constructive, sweet or sarcastic, was a symbol of a life which I adored regardless of its virtual existence. It sort of gave an unmatched sense of self even in the midst of all kind of clutter and chaos. Just like a safe haven. Therefore all this time that I was away I felt what being away from home must make you feel. I have always cherished this one place, this tiny window inside my desktop, this minuscule web space where I often found expression for my thoughts which you my friends have always embraced and considered with nothing but encouragement. This vibrant medium which reflects the beauty of its dwellers with serenity and fortitude as it gives recognition to whosoever aspires and works for it. That alone makes it a home like no other.

Maybe all what I have seen and felt during my time away is likely to reflect in my words. If it is much of a pain or embarrassment guide me as you always have. If I tend to amble into darkness be kind and remind me of the beauty of light. If I manage to summon whatever part of me it was which wrote once, the one that you guys wholeheartedly adored then tell me that I still have it in me to keep going, that there is something worthy of salvaging about the whole endeavor. It may be a little selfish of me, I concede, to hold these expectations. But we’re all artists and dreamers who sketch with words and I trust that you will agree life is never easy for dreamers. This is my way of holding out my hand to hold yours, so that our shared journey of expressions becomes a little less arduous and increasingly meaningful.

I do not know if I can ever infuse in my words qualities which I had once managed to imbibe in them, most of which art I learnt from amazing writers I came across here. I do not know if my words will ever evoke what they once did. Regardless I intend to apply myself to the task. Because it is a way of liberation. These very moments that our words conjure seemingly beyond the prefixed, mundane and unchangeable twenty four hours, words which earn for us the little yet beautiful and immortal spaces in void.  

Much Love,


Anupam

24 comments:

  1. A way o liberation it is, I must agree. I have had the same stirrings, mishaps and agitations and finally I have realised how writing process can itself be a great treatment. Your writings do strike the same chords. Happy blogging :)

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    1. If our journeys have been similar then I'm happy to have found you Pranju. And equally encouraged by your gracious words of support. Thanks so much. Happy Blogging to you as well

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  2. Most people go through painful periods. Maybe they are meant to teach us something.
    All the best.

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  3. If this post is any indication, you are in full steam with a beautiful command of language and flow... Looking forward to read more from you.

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    1. Thank you Rajeev for such wonderful words of encouragement. Looking forward too to your gracious company all the way.

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  4. Take care, Anupam. Life throws such spanners in our works. I am sure you will emerge stronger. I have found writing to be therapeutic. Hope it works that way for you as well.

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    1. It's hard to be sure as to what works and what does't with me. But yes, writing does have an uplifting effect. What has it even more is the kind support of persons like you. Thank you Rachna for your gracious words. Means a lot.

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  5. Welcome back to you Anupam.
    And welcome back to your beautiful writing.
    I'm sure you'll find solace here. :)

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    1. Hi,
      It's so great to hear from you. Thank you for your wishes dear.
      Let's walk along.

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  6. Great to have you back!
    Hope this blogging help you tide over your difficulties. It has helped me. :)

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    1. Thank you Indrani. Wonderful to have you all back as well. Hope you're doing well.

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  7. Anupam..this is the first time I am venturing into your space and it is an absolute delight. I too strongly believe that destiny charters our course and we just fall prey to the different designs and patterns efficiently weaved by the creator. The incidents that happen in this unpredictable journey of life, do have a lasting impact on us but we do emerge stronger and move forward and this is exactly what you have done in utmost grace and determination.

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    1. Hi Sunita,

      It is so reassuring to read your words. I cannot thank you enough for your gracious gesture.

      Thank you so so much.

      Looking forward to build this into something cherished.

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  8. Your post reminds of the time I took a long break from everyone and everything. Did totally different things which I would not normally venture to do. Learnt a lot, lost a lot, but when I came back, I was more assured, more confident and had more energy and determination. Hope its the same positive effect for you. Best of luck. Love your command on language. :)

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    1. I am happy for you Nivedita. Happy that you came back more assured and confident from whatever it was that took you away.

      I'm happy that you did things you wouldn't have otherwise.

      I am happy that it was all positive for you.

      Thanks for dropping by and sharing your inspiration.

      I don't know yet what it is like for me. Time will tell.

      Lookin forward to hearing more from you...

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  9. "A way of liberation" so aptly said. Great.

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    1. Hello Mr.Ray

      Hope you've been great all this time. Feels good to hear from you.

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  10. Struggles are a sign of life, a sign that you are a fighter too...one who will not give up that easily. You write beautifully.

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    1. One can only feel fortunate to find on his path of struggle, friends who stand by you and inspire and encourage. Your words reflect that encouraging gesture. Thank Sunaina for being so gracious.

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  11. As we simply breathe, many things around us go unnoticed. The quality of life is getting abysmal, but thankfully, we manage to fetter our dreams. Your post wringed certain soft corners, which remained softly hidden inside. The heart makes me feel, that I have so many persons to thank for making valuable contributions during my moments of solitude and in gaiety. Uniquely we live amongst deviations. Beautiful column indeed.

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    1. I'm delighted that those soft corners still exist in your soul my brother. For many they wither with experience. I have been searching for mine since a long long time. Thank you for dropping by and sharing your thoughts.

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  12. So you were on hiatus too...such episodes of life pass by...not a welcoming ones we all know...but learning experiences nevertheless. It will only make you a better person and I'm sure you already know that. Take care. :)

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    1. Some things you never really recover from. They just pass and you just stand where they crossed you.

      Thank you Namrota for sharing your thoughts on this.Means a lot.

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